The topic is: If you don't have anything nice to say......come sit by me.
Oh - let me get my coffee first before I start on this one. OK, I'm back. To begin with let me say that I HATE GOSSIPING PEOPLE! They make me really mad. Why? Probably because I have heard so much of it in my lifetime. My mother lives to talk about others. She will call me (and I live 700 miles away) to tell me what her neighbors are doing, or what someone in the church is doing, or what somebody's sisters cousins niece by her first marriage is doing! It doesn't matter that I don't know these people and I don't care what they are doing. She just HAS to gossip. I walk around with the phone at my ear for 15 to 20 minutes while she just rants away. And she is almost "fanatically" religious! To me, gossiping is not a very Christian thing to do.
Why, you ask, do I not just tell her that ? I've been telling her that for 53 years. It doesn't work. It just makes her mad and she hangs up so she can call someone else to talk about me for the next 15 to 20 minutes!
I remember very well that my grandma use to gossip a lot which I never liked. My mom would tell things to other family members, not so much in a gossiping way, but truth or not, it does hurt the person being talked about. It usually was something one of us kids did or didn't do, but thought we did kinda stuff. This drove me insane. I think this is why I've kept such zipped lips with our children never letting any family other than my DH know what was going on. Unfortunately, our kids don't share in practicing discretion of who they wish to tell who ever about whatever going on under our roof, but you know how it is parents are always wrong in a child's eye. Oh well, I've ranted enough about this topic, but nothing ever good comes from gossip. Thanks for stopping by!
ReplyDeleteI can remember my grandmother's quilting bees....and the ladies talking about all the goings ons in their little town as they sewed patches on and drank tea. I don't remember it being mean spirited or anything....but it was definitely a way to keep connected to the community for these women who were at home alone/or with children most of the time.
ReplyDeleteI guess much depends on the "spirit" or "intent" of the chatter. Are you simply discussing actual events, or are you just making idle assumptions about someone? And of course, there are those that are just plain mean.
I used to think it was the result of a bored mind....but I wonder now if it is a actually a result of our natural curious minds. The brain requires something to ponder, and in the absence of anything "real" or "worthy" -- we'll fill up the gaps with whatever.
Boy am I ever glad I didn't have your mother.
ReplyDeletePerhaps that is your mother's way of letting go. If we are lucky we will all grow old and have too much time on our hands. I hope it gets better for your mother.
ReplyDeleteI often have to bite my tongue when on the phone with others......it's easy for me to get pulled into discussions about mutual acquaintances if I'm not careful, even though I would never maliciously spread anything. And at that point, I'm now involved in the drama, too. It's exhausting.
ReplyDelete