Thursday again! Time to do a little "pondering" with Brenda from Ponderings of an Author.
Her rules are really easy:
1. Grab the Pondering with a Purpose Badge (in her sidebar)
2. Look at the week's prompt
3.
Post something on your blog that relates to the prompt - it can be a
story, a poem, a picture -- anything you want it to be.
4. Go back here and add the URL from your post to the linky list on Brenda's.
5. Go check out the other bloggers who have added their links to the list.
6. AND most of all.... Have fun!
Loss of Innocence-Loss of Dignity- Loss of Privacy-Loss of a loved one-Loss of purpose
I, like Brenda, have to admit that I have lost all of those things at one point or another. I could even add a few to the list - the one that comes to mind would be loss of self. Loss is never an easy thing to deal with but when you lose yourself - what do you do?
You all know that I call this blog "Empty nest in IL" and if you have read much you know that my world has revolved around my kids for a long time. It was always me and them - together. When my son joined the Air Force I was devastated - but I had to let him go. Daughter stayed with me till she was 24. I always told her that she could never leave me but of course SIL came along and off she went. So there I was. ALONE.
I did not deal with it very well. The house was too quiet, too clean, there's really no point in cooking for one, laundry was always done, no dishes.......So what was I supposed to do? I wallowed for a while and became somewhat of a "hermit." I really hate to admit it but I even spent many nights with a bottle of wine. Until I took the trash out one day and realized how many bottles were there. I couldn't let myself go down that road so I had to do something.
I started crocheting a lot. I and even did some craft fairs. I joined the VFW. I joined Blue Star Mothers of America. I started this blog. I put one foot in front of the other and kept going. That's all you can do. Nothing stays the same but wallowing doesn't help anything.
Now, I do still enjoy an occasional glass of wine and my kids are still the most important thing in my life. And I've learned that even though they're gone - they still need me. I have a life of my own now. Me - myself - my life - and things are better. I've grown a lot and this blog has been a big part of that growth. I thank you all for that.
So glad you have been able to move on and of course you have the anticipation of grandchildren.
ReplyDeleteTami--- I swear the more I read from you the more I know we have been down the same path.... only for me it was vodka... I am finally seeking some assistance with the feeling of not being needed (which I know is an irrational one!) and have to find other outlets for my time... hmmmm....perhaps crocheting again is something that would work for me too... what do you make because God knows we don't need anymore blankets!!!
ReplyDeleteI want to let you know how much I value our friendship and how I know that if I really need you I can just pick up the phone and you will understand whatever I need to talk about... I hope you feel the same :)
Have a Merry Christmas with Heather and family and thanks for Pondering with me this year....
Brenda, I have TONS of crochet patterns - anything you could possibly want, just let me know what you want to make - sweaters, doilies, afghans, scarves, stuffed animals.......
DeleteAnd yes, your friendship means the same to me.
I freely admit that even as a 40 something with kids of my own -- I still need my mommy! especially to help hide Christmas presents from my expert snooping kids.
ReplyDeleteLosing yourself is one of the hardest losses I think too. When I first stayed home with the kids -- it was all about them. I let go of most of the things I enjoyed to focus on them. They are not old enough yet to be self-sufficient....or move out; but they don't need me for absolutely everything. And I realized I miss me!! where did I go? Why do I have to give up those things that I love -- that make me, ME. Hence the blog. time for me - to rediscover the unique me again.
Wow what a wonderful testimony. I think you are brave and I could see myself in so much of the things you shared. I am so glad you made it through that time and are now in the place that you are now. God is so good and I thank you for sharing this hard stuff but it is wonderful that you allowed yourself to be transformed into to who you are now.
ReplyDeleteA great post. It relates to most mothers I think!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you have found your way... again. Wonderful, thoughtful post.
ReplyDeleteThis is my pondering this week: @ ImagesByCW